Site Update 2024
As I've grown older, I've also grown some distaste for going all dark-mode all the time in my UIs - including this website. I still enjoy the aesthetics that dark colors bring (just look at my wardrobe), but I felt this site needed a new coat of paint. That resulted in removing the animated background as well. I've since found an easier way to animate it, like I wanted it to in the beginning, but I've lost the ambition to re-implement it currently. Things have been stripped down to their basics for now. I could go the extra mile and make the site super fancy, but I lack the current interest to make more unique assets or program superfluous functions.
The new color palette is a hodgepodge of things I like, such as the pastel colors of old Windows programs and Y2K-era graphic art. Cyan, mint, turquoise, seafoam (and other shades in between) are my favorite colors, so I wanted a more prominent way of using them. I didn't know how well I'd feel about the use of gold text or highlights on a black background, but it was thanks to Autechre's Draft 7.30 album that convinced me on the idea (for now).
Some pages have been taken down for construction. I'm updating a lot of old 'log' pages into the format of a single, dedicated blog post about each topic. I was proud of the work I did about a year ago in making the original templates for them, but they quickly became unruly and cluttered. They also displayed poorly on mobile screens (not that the platform is my main target). It was hard for me to consistently update them with worthwile thoughts too.
There are still pages that are prone to deletion or altering, but I'm going to take a break from downsizing until I get caught up with the rest of the stuff I took down. The gallery is a target. So, if for some god-forsaken reason you want to have a copy of one of my shitty images, go for it!
As you are no doubt aware, I have a lot of distaste for my creative output. Call it pessimism, paranoia, or even a twisted sense of narcissism... There's likely a mixture of all three thrown into this mindset. Lately I've been on the cusp of deleting all my images, videos, etc., because I fantasize the feeling of starting off on a clean slate. Of course, I've already fucked that up by sharing said output in the first place and even showing my face. I have a small enough following that very few would notice my disappearance (I'd still keep in contact with all my online/offline friends, obviously), but I don't want to feel like I'm taking things away from people who enjoy what I have made. That would be a bit selfish. Maybe there's a middle-ground.
On a similar note... If you didn't read my last update, I've officially come out as trans/nonbinary. Overall, I have been significantly happier with myself, regardless of the faux support I receive from those in my family. I maintain the request to be primarily referred to with they/them pronouns. However, because of those who insist on my existence to only be male (those who I am in contact with frequently, a.k.a. my family), I have been growing a distaste to descriptors like "man," "dude," and "bro." There's absolutely no problem if you're saying it by accident or to be friendly! I guess I just lean more to one side in my androgyny that I don't like determined by what I was assigned as at birth. I'm sure with exposure to better people in my life, I'll be less annoyed by it.
Anyways, it's time to wrap this document up so I can actually push the update. As always, a massive thank you and much love to my found-family brothers in Mase and Mo. I extend my gratitudes to the others mentioned in my previous post (with some named additions/edits): Zek, Kirby, Isaac, Nathan, Hiiro, OracleObvious, Springs, and the rest who I still have yet to truly thank. You've all made such a positive impact on my life and I wouldn't be the same person today without each of you.
Tschüß